Sustainable Life- My personal journey

Ever since I can remember I have felt that I had a mission to accomplish in this life, although I didn’t know what it was.

I’ve walked many roads, seen and done my fair share of things in life, the good, the bad and the ugly and at some point I had to stop to reach deep within… really really deep within to understand that I have always known what the “mission” is, I just forgot to get in touch with it when I was born and it took me a long time to access it again.

The mission is to LOVE, and I know this sounds very cliché but it’s one thing to know and understand that and a whole other thing to actually know in which particular way you  feel called to live that as a reality.

I am not a mathematic thinking type of person so I have trouble with sticking to the rules, although I like rules and value them, I am a wanderer, I can’t stay in the same place for too long, I can follow the rules just as long as they don’t suffocate me.

To LOVE although it might seem as a natural and simple thing to do, is actually a spiritual practice, you don’t get to love spontaneously if you don’t know what love is first, from your own self and this is alone is a quest that takes years to unravel, only to discover that your own self is non-existent and there lies your true freedom, peace and access to love.

After that acknowledgement then comes the practice, and this part is even more difficult,  some people are born with the conviction to devote themselves entirely to the service of others, thus becoming ordained in a religion or meditating until achieving illumination.

I am not one of them, although I am fascinated by the spiritual world, I can’t deal with all the rules of a religion, I forget them and it juts doesn’t seem natural for me to “do” so many things in order to “climb a step towards your spiritual goal” so to speak.

But I am also not happy with the status quo of humanity where it’s ok to not feel, to just accumulate “power”, money, popularity, body experiences, where it is taught to hate and fear all others just because they think or look different, I stand against that and I will never accept it nor choose it for my life.

So what’s left for all of us who are not comfortable devoting our talents to worldly pleasures and violent misconceptions but who are also not fitting into devoting our talents to strict spiritual practice and vowing for a belief?

Then comes the point where I finally get it, I am a human being in this vast universe with the privilege of living on a planet that has so much beauty, richness and goodness that no writer could have ever imagined, and not only do I live here, I am alive with it, she is here too, with all her knowledge, intuition, strength, power, vulnerability and never-ending LOVE.

All I need to know is here, and I already know it, I just need to listen and remember.

Rieselfelder Münster, Germany. Photo Credit: Cristina Guerrero

If we would just listen… the Earth is the most amazing living being, from the tiniest micro-organism to the biggest animal, mountain or tree alive, we can’t even begin to resemble it, everything lives in harmony, everything has a purpose and a benefit, everyone fulfills their part in the circle of life (yes the Lion King knows about this stuff).

So for me personally, the way that I can be of any contribution to others is to LOVE all living beings, not just humans, not institutions, not countries, not any of these ideas, but to love our living, breathing, real planet and even though I might not be the type of explorer that can venture to live in a cave either, I feel that I can be a voice for the planet, a voice that needs to be heard in our present more than ever.

So I won’t get off the grid because that won’t serve my purpose, I will use this life, this here and now to balance it back, to come back to the Earth, to be that voice and find those other voices that also want to protect and serve the planet and all its living beings.

If anyone reading this resonates with this premise, contact me, you are not alone, changing the world is a daunting task, it is discouraging, it seems impossible, it’s hard, but that’s not the point, why lose our focus trying to fight the negative when we could use our energy and talents to create something positive? -Vince in bono malum-

Create the life you want in harmony with the planet, as a part of it all, flowing with it, not going against it, guarding and voicing what all other living beings deserve: LOVE.

A lot of people feel they need to turn to a very restrictive kind of lifestyle to do something for the planet and that is also dis-encouraging for the free spirits, for the creative that don’t like to be labeled, but I am also here to say, we are all unique and individual, for some people having a restrictive diet for example is the only way to serve the planet, but I personally have tried it and the only response I got from my body was…”not gonna happen” but that doesn’t mean that I don’t do what I can to support the ethics behind food, it doesn’t mean I am not conscious and grateful every time that I eat or that I support the exploitation of the environment caused by industrial food production (also it’s the opposite of healthy) so wouldn’t want to eat it anyways. So I am learning to eat from the Earth, seasonal, local, low-impact, just healthy in the full sense of the word.

A sustainable lifestyle is exactly that: SUSTAINABLE, it means that the actions you take today ensure there are means for this to continue in the future, and if you think about it it’s like a basic rule of politeness, leave the place better than how you found it, do what you do with respect for others.

In this case the others are the future generations, make sure you leave the same or more richness than what you are taking, and it only seems logical since most human beings have children, why wouldn’t you want them to enjoy the gift of life?

In other words, it’s a balance, you take and you give, you choose the best option for you as a part of the living planet and for your future you in every aspect of your life, spiritually, mentally, physically…etc.

And it is a process…there is a lot of frustration and fear of change out there, but allow yourself to take it slowly, REMEMBER: You don’t need to be perfect! Anything you have learned throughout your life has taken time, so take your time to do this, one action at a time, all you need is a positive heart.

Will you join me on this journey?

If you will, subscribe to this blog and let’s do it together!

With love,

Cristina G. S.

Rieselfelder, Münster, Germany. Photo Credit: Falk von Freigeist

Relationships: The art of letting be

My most recurrent source of discomfort arises when I find myself trying to control what others do… specifically when it comes to my partner. Sounds familiar?

Maybe it’s the society I grew up in but when it comes to “adulthood and family life” I certainly have plans and standards. It’s like all my life I had been learning what to do and what not to do from my parents and other families around me and all that time my brain had secretly kept a whole file about how to do it when the time comes.

Well, now the time is here, I have met the person I chose to start this adventure with and now I am officially on this boat for the rest of my life…creating a family.

And as my ancestors before me, I have no idea of what I’m doing but I want to make the best out of it, does that make any sense?

Honestly it was never my dream as a little girl to get married and be a mom, I didn’t have baby dolls to care for when I was a child, on the contrary, I really enjoyed being cared for and when it came to playing with dolls, my barbies were not moms, they were always rich independent women… however the circle of life that moves us all and biology are following their course and although I have zero practice at being a parent I feel happy, excited and anxious about this new stage in life.

That being said, I am the kind of person that likes to have a plan and a clear ground to stand on so now that I’m transitioning from independent woman wanderer of the world to full time pillar of my own family… I want to have a route, a plan, a strategy.

In my experience dating was always a self-growth learning experience, maybe I am too practical in that way, but for me the “perfect person or soulmate” doesn’t really exist.

I believe a healthy relationship is one that empowers you and where you feel naturally willing to empower the other as well. So rather than finding a Prince Charming that is brave, rich and good looking (our early model of masculinity) it’s acknowledging that the person who you share the spark of the following ingredients -attraction, connection, communication, shared values, common goals- is actually a human being.

When we come to a certain age, all of our biology tells us to focus on finding a suitable mate and at some point we have spent so many years of our lives in relationships that we either want to settle down or give up “the search”. When we meet someone that lights the spark and meets our requirements we feel “complete” and ready to take it to the next level.

All of that is super distracting and as comfortable as it might feel the truth is that every person in this universe is unique and different so even if we are in a relationship with a partner that we qualify as suitable, in spite of all those things in common and the “love” we have for each other, we will still behave differently, react differently, approach things differently and just experience life differently.

I believe this is one of the greatest oversights in the history of relationships, we think that everything will be perfect because we love a person so much… but eventually and inevitably we will hit a rock spot where all the differences will seem to blow up and in many cases overpower everything else.

No wonder there are so many jokes and warnings about married life, it’s like we are blinded by nice feelings and once the juice of that is gone, reality strikes and we realize we don’t want the same things, even if once we thought we did.

But what happens? is the “magic” really gone after you get married? are you meant to just settle for struggles in the time to come? Like you’ve been sentenced to prison and you can’t escape?

I believe that we can have a healthy relationship and many happy moments together but we should watch out for perfection, it is a big delusion. Humans are not made for being perfect so letting go of expectations inside of a relationship can save us many trouble.

Expectations are created inside our own mind about the outcome of something that is neutral, yet if we don’t experience the result we fantasized about, we “feel disappointed, misunderstood, betrayed” and the problem starts… we want to control the outcome of the situations around us so we want to control the behavior of others just to guarantee our own comfort.

And as often as we might hear that releasing expectations leads to a peaceful mind, expectations are really hard to get rid of, specially because it makes perfect sense to your mind to have expectations when it comes to subjects you judge as very important.

Another factor that I find very important is that what we judge as important is completely subjective so it’s likely that we consider some things important where other people don’t and viceversa and even if we agree on many, it’s impossible to agree on everything 100%, I believe that inherently men and women consider different things as important and that is also something we should keep in mind.

As illuminated as I want to be, I think choosing a partner to share many years of your life with is a decision that comes with expectations already, when you choose someone to be a father to your children, instinctively you expect to have the basic needs covered so you can devote your body, mind and soul into bringing a strong and healthy human into life and making sure it survives until it can become a notable source of good for the world. Moreover once the child is born you expect your partner to give very bit of his soul into making sure the child is taken care of in every way.

As a woman you know you can provide shelter, food and support to your child by yourself, nothing will stop you… yet when you share that stage of life with a partner you want that person to be involved, the trick here is, what are the parameters you are setting for that involvement? what are you expecting the other to do?

I believe it’s support, support in your decisions as a being who is truly connected to life and all the universe in that moment. I haven’t experienced it yet but I believe that when you become a mother you transform into something else, you develop higher senses and you are granted access to the net of life, I picture something like what happens in the movie “Avatar” when they all connect to the tree and do a ritual together.

But with great power comes great responsibility and once you are part of that network you must learn how to balance your expectations and let your partner be. A man will never be able to embody and experience being a vessel for life, he can be touched and moved but not transformed as a woman will.

Are men allowed to be their same selves or do they need to immediately become the perfect role model of a father that will not think of anything else except his family?

I think that everyone has a different personality, people who are naturally responsible and proactive, people who are hyperactive, people who are slower and need a lot of practice at things, people who are family oriented and people who value their space alone. To expect a perfect behavior from a partner is to doom ourselves to unhappiness.

Having the freedom to choose our partner is a luxury that not everyone can afford, so whenever I feel discomfort due to a behavior that I deem not what I would want in that moment, I stop myself and let go, remembering that it is my choice to be here and now with this person exactly how he is, not with a fantasy of that person, with the real person that has it’s own thoughts, feelings and needs.

It is never a simple thing being in a relationship and I consider that it’s very important to remember that it’s not meant to be perfect, a person is not a machine that you can program to your every preference, yet with will from both sides and actual work you can achieve a balanced and sustainable relationship where you both can feel accomplished, seen, heard, valued and respected.

Be true to yourself and allow the other one to be…

-Cristina G.

Primero de Julio

Hoy es el primero de julio y es un día muy importante en México, casualmente, hoy muchos mexicanos están cumpliendo con su deber cívico votando por el próximo presidente y representantes del congreso.

Muchos mexicanos confían una vez más y esperan que se produzca un cambio, que sus vidas mejoren, que el país progrese.

No puedo relacionarme con esta idea, lamentablemente no veo cómo las elecciones en el contexto en el que se llevan a cabo le daría a los mexicanos como sociedad la capacidad de mejorar cualquier aspecto de la administración pública más allá de ejercer un derecho fugaz que se termina en segundos.

La sociedad mexicana elige más no participa en la construcción de las leyes sobre las cuales se tomarán las decisiones que afecten sus vidas y no participan porque no existe el marco legal que lo permita. El derecho político se ejerce sólo al votar y después la ciudadanía es relegada a un simple observador y en el mejor de los casos un crítico hasta que se canse o lo desaparezcan.

Cuando los mexicanos votan simplemente depositan su confianza en los políticos (no utilizaré la palabra representantes porque en realidad no representan los intereses de la sociedad) y esperan lo mejor. Este es el proceso de cada 6 años, participar y ser un “ciudadano ejemplar” por un segundo para depositar su confianza en alguien que no demostró interés alguno por la ciudadanía, un desconocido al cual no le interesa el interés público.

Durante mucho tiempo México ha vivido en la dictadura perfecta, el gobernante: Un grupo de los empresarios más ricos que tienen un matrimonio largo y rentable con los medios de comunicación.

¿Por qué debería votar por una persona que no me representa? ¿Por qué debería darle mi confianza a alguien en quien no confío?

Cada 6 años las elecciones presidenciales no consisten en apoyar al candidato que parece ser mejor, se trata de intentar elegir entre todos los males el menor ¿Qué tipo de democracia es esa?

Creo que votar con la idea de que con ése hecho se está “construyendo la democracia” es la peor forma de desperdiciar la libertad política.

Escúchenme, mexicanos: El cambio que anhelan no depende de ningún partido político, ni mucho menos del gobierno, depende de nuestra propia capacidad para dejar de ser egoístas y comenzar a ser humanos.

Las propuestas políticas son siempre tan inteligentes y asombrosas, todos los candidatos tienen muchas soluciones a los mismos problemas de cada 6 años que son los mismos problemas de hace cientos de años…pero “Ésta vez siempre es diferente y hay que ser optimistas”… propuestas vacías: En realidad, la constitución mexicana permite a criminales con antecedentes penales por fraude y muchos otros delitos postularse como candidatos en el Congreso, en realidad la mayoría de las compañías mexicanas y extranjeras pagan salarios bajos y demandan innumerables horas de trabajo de las personas, la mayoría de ellas no pagan por las horas de capacitación y evitan pagar horas extras y días festivos tanto como pueden, lo cual hace imposible que la gente tenga una vida equilibrada. En realidad las personas que afortunadamente tienen un trabajo trabajan hasta el agotamiento para ganarse la vida y ni la empresa ni el gobierno los apoyan, incluso si son padres solteros o si tienen un miembro de la familia con necesidades especiales o discapacidad, en realidad el gobierno presta dinero a los trabajadores para comprar un hogar de 85 metros cuadrados y pagarlo con intereses por el resto de su vida, en realidad muchas empresas usan “pagadoras” para firmar sus contratos de trabajo y pagar menos impuestos al tiempo que evaden cumplir con sus obligaciones constitucionales hacia los trabajadores, en realidad no hay suficientes espacios en las escuelas para que las personas accedan a la educación básica y un título universitario es un privilegio para un pequeño porcentaje de la población que también tiene que pagar para acceder a escuelas privadas porque no hay suficiente oferta de escuelas públicas.

No escuché a ninguno de los candidatos mencionar nada sobre reformar la Constitución para incluir a la sociedad mexicana en el proceso real de toma de decisiones de las leyes que afectan sus vidas. No escuché a ninguno de los candidatos proponer que los criminales convictos tengan prohibido postularse para un cargo público, no escuché a ninguno de los candidatos hablar sobre sus vidas reales, sobre quiénes son como personas, no escuché ninguna visión clara y realista sobre lo que pueden y no pueden lograr para sanar cientos de años de mala administración de innumerables gobiernos anteriores y lo que pueden y no pueden hacer para detener la manipulación de información de los medios.

“Terminar con la corrupción”: Es la idea más vaga e impráctica que he escuchado … ¡Por favor! ¿Por qué debería permitir que estas personas (los candidatos) me traten como si no fuera capaz de entender siquiera lo más mínimo?

No, la corrupción nunca terminará y nadie puede erradicarla, existe en todos los países en todos los niveles y siempre existirá mientras existan los seres humanos porque es parte del comportamiento humano … la corrupción ha existido desde tiempos inmemoriales y el punto no es cambiar eso, el punto no es terminar con ella, el punto es qué hacer en respuesta a la corrupción y con todas las consecuencias de la corrupción.

Hoy en día en México todo político que ha sido corrupto vive libremente y en completa oportunidad de disfrutar del dinero robado, de los negocios hechos en su beneficio único y exclusivo, de todas las ventajas que sacaron… ¿Qué mecanismo legal tiene la sociedad mexicana en respuesta a esto? … NINGUNO.

Ex presidentes que han sido infames a lo largo de la historia, que han causado enormes crisis económicas y sociales, sólo tienen que esperar en sus mansiones en Suiza o Francia hasta que los tiempos se tranquilicen para volver a México y vivir como la realeza, con el paso del tiempo  su presenciase vuelve normal y sus familias salen de sus escondites para volverse celebridades apareciendo en revistas y mostrando sus bodas multimillonarias.

Este modelo se replica en todos los niveles de gobierno, desde presidentes municipales hasta el Presidente de la República. ¿Quién propone algún mecanismo legal para reaccionar en defensa de la voluntad del pueblo? ¿Quién puede pensar que recompensar a esta gente es la voluntad del pueblo? ¿Qué tipo de democracia es esa?

Cada 6 años escribo un mensaje como este y deseo que alguien entienda que lo que cualquier país necesita, lo que cualquier sociedad necesita es primero VIVIR CON VALORES HUMANOS REALES, para que la gente olvide todo el adoctrinamiento, represión, inseguridad, miedo y violencia con los que han sido programados y alimentados y aprendan a ser humanos.

Que aprendan a conocer y amar su ser, a respetar su ser, a amar su entorno, a amar a los demás seres humanos porque hasta que amemos a los demás, comenzaremos a preocuparnos por ellos y cuando digo “los demás” me refiero a todos los demás, no sólo a la familia, amar a tu propia familia no es suficiente: Amar a un extraño, amar a la persona que tiene SIDA, amar a la persona que vive en la calle, amar a los ancianos, amar a los padres solteros, amar a las personas que viven en la pobreza, amar a todos los demás.

Si puedes amarlos, entonces trabajarás con ellos y no en su contra y entonces se podrá construir una sociedad equilibrada .

Los seres humanos que vivan desde este lugar serán los que transformen mediante el ejemplo y esos son los mexicanos por los que yo quiero votar.

First of July

Today is the first of July and it is a very important day in Mexico, coincidentally, today a lot of mexicans are fulfilling their civic duty by voting for the next president and congress representatives.

A lot of mexicans are once again trusting and hoping for a change to come their way, for their lives to improve, for the country to progress.

I can’t relate to this idea, sadly I don’t see how an election, a moment of crossing out a name in a paper would give mexicans as a society the ability to improve anything, because as a society mexicans do not participate in the construction of the legal framework at anytime after the election, they simply put their trust in the politicians (and I will not use the word representatives because they are actually not representing the interests of the society) and hope for the best. This is the process every 6 years, to participate for a second to trust for the rest of their term.

For the longest time Mexico has lived in the perfect dictatorship, the ruler: A nice group of the richest entrepreneurs that have a long and profitable marriage with the mass media.

Why should I vote for a person that does not represent me? Why should I give my trust to someone I don’t trust?

Every 6 years the presidential elections are not about supporting the candidate that you choose, they are about trying to choose from all evils the one that seems least harmful, What type of democracy is that?

I believe that voting for the sake of “trusting democracy” is the worst way to waste your political freedom.

I believe that I should not lie about what I truly think and that I shouldn’t be afraid to face judgement from all the “good citizens” that choose to vote and I definitely shouldn’t be afraid that the government itself will threaten my life.

Listen to me mexicans: The change that you long for is not in any political party, nor in the government, it’s in our own ability to stop being selfish and start being human.

Political proposals are always so smart and amazing and so void…in reality the mexican constitution allows convicted criminals with criminal background for fraud and many other crimes to run for office in the Congress, in reality most of the mexican and foreign companies pay low salaries and demand countless hours of work from the people , they don’t pay for training and avoid paying extra hours as much as they can making it impossible for the people to live a balanced life, in reality the lucky people who actually have a job work until exhaustion to earn a way of life and neither the company nor the government support them even if they are single parents or if they have a family member with special needs or disability, in reality the government lends money to workers to buy an 85sq meter home and pay for it with interest for the rest of their life, in reality companies use other “sub-companies” to sign their work agreements and pay less taxes and to avoid complying with their constitutional obligations towards workers, in reality there are not enough spaces in schools for people to access basic education and a university degree is a privilege for a few percentage of the population whom also have to pay to access private schools because there are not enough spaces in public schools.

I didn’t hear any of the candidates mention anything about reforming the Constitution to include the mexican society in the actual decision making process of the laws that affect their lives. I didn’t hear any of the candidates mention that if you are a convicted criminal you are banned from running for public office, I didn’t hear any of the candidates talk about their real lives,  about who they are, I didn’t hear anyone having a clear vision about what they can and can’t accomplish to heal hundreds of years of mismanagement from countless previous governments and what they can and can’t do to stop the manipulation of information from the media.

“To end corruption”- That is the single most vague and virtually impossible idea I have heard…Come on! Why should I allow these people (the candidates) to treat me as if I weren’t able to understand a thing?

No, corruption will never end and no one can eradicate it, it exists in every country at every level and it will always exist as long as human beings exist because it is part of the human behavior…corruption has existed since time immemorial and the point is not to change that, the point is not to end it, the point is what to do in response to corruption and with all the consequences of corruption.

Nowadays in Mexico every politician that has been corrupt lives freely and at leisure to enjoy the money they stole, the businesses they made, the profit they gathered… What legal mechanism does the mexican society have in response to this?…NONE.

Ex-presidents that have been infamous throughout history, that have caused one economic crisis after the other, all they have to do is wait in their mansions in Switzerland or France until it’s ok to come back and live in Mexico again, slowly it becomes normal to have them around and after a while they and their children even become celebrities appearing in social magazines, showing off their million dollar weddings. This model is replicated at every level of government from majors of a municipality to the president of the republic.

Who is proposing any legal mechanism to react in defense of the people’s will? Who can think that rewarding these people is the people’s will? What sort of democracy is that?

Every 6 years I write a post like this and I wish that someone would understand that what any country needs, what any society needs is first to LIVE BY REAL HUMAN VALUES, for people to forget all the indoctrination, repression, insecurity, fear and violence they have been fed up and raised with and to learn how to be human.

How to know and love your self, how to respect your self, how to love your environment, how to love all other human beings because until you love others you will actually start to care about them and  by others I mean all others, not just your family, to love your family is not enough: love a stranger, love the person who has AIDS, love the person who is homeless, love the elders, love the single parents, love the people living in poverty, love all others, if you are able to love them then you will work with them and not against them and then you will be able to build a balanced society.

Human beings that live from this place will lead by example and those are the mexicans I would vote for.

 

 

 

 

I want to adopt minimalism

How many times have I regretted falling into the trap of “living the good life”, working and making what seems like enough money to go and spend it.

Every time after the shopping spree I couldn’t really keep the joy as I realized I didn’t really need any of the things I bought.

Sure, shopping and spending money in expensive things comes with the feeling of power and achievement but it’s just a big illusion.

I realized that spending money and buying things I didn’t need basically came from a deeply rooted subconscious need to show off; to prove to others I was “better” or the “alpha person” because I could afford expensive things…when and why did I ever believe that big fat lie?

I started prepping for my life changing almighty year long trip exactly last spring, in my mind I saw this picture of myself with a big backpack over my shoulders staring into the horizon on the top of a mountain in a remote place, so of course I set to the task of finding the perfect backpack and the perfect outfit to accomplish this picture perfect moment.

Once I had the backpack it took me 3 months and many attempts to actually pack it, the first time I packed it I had so many things that I couldn’t even fit them inside.

On the second attempt I took a good look at what I was planning to take and sacrificed some clothes for the sake of fitting it all in, this time the clothes were inside but the toiletries not.

On the third attempt I tried to take only the basic things and it worked but the weight was such that I couldn’t even carry it.

That exercise made me realize how much stuff my brain thought I needed at the time and how hard it was to erase this program: My brain really couldn’t get around surviving with only what is really necessary and practical.

Finally I managed to pack the bag and to get it on the plane but every time I had to walk a lot with it I realized I was carrying a lot and I was not even using half of the things, they were all for “in case I go to____”.

I have now been traveling for 9 months and I have been getting rid of things all along.

Of course the question in my mind “Will I survive without these or that?” was totally stupid and unnecessary, everywhere I went I had everything that I needed for that specific place and weather not because I had bought it and had it in my backpack but because the universe and life is amazing and abundant.

It’s learning how to flow within life, being aware that all you need is already taken care of and there is no need to worry.

I always have this image from the movie “Finding Nemo” when the fish get into the current and they encounter the turtles, they are wise and laid back enjoying the current, they have learned how to get on it and when to exit and they are not afraid to go with it and enjoy it.

I am determined to flow into life instead of fighting against it, to make my own rules and create my own social model based on what’s really important for me: connection with nature, respect, love for this planet and for all its living beings and for that I don’t need things, I need only the basics which can be at the same time things that I like and want but I really feel the urge to live with the minimum.

Traveling has given me the opportunity to start and yet I feel I have a long way to go.

My goal for the next 6 months is to manage to have only my backpack, whatever fits in there is what I keep and what doesn’t then I want to let go…

Let’s see how that goes

Where is my peace?

After a wonderful experience in Cyprus, coming back to Germany proved to be quite tough on my spirit; even though I feel connected to this land, the drastic absence of the sun during the first days of april and the wet weather were hardly enjoyable.

But putting the weather aside, the new challenge that awaited for me was bigger and tougher than what I could have envisioned.

I found myself in a situation that I would call “a karmic loop” this means for me being in a situation that you have already experienced and struggled with in the past, a situations that repeats itself with the same or even more intensity.

I was giving all my energy (thoughts, time, actions) to a commitment that was in turn not giving me space to have personal time for sleep, for nutrition, for recreation, for spirituality and silence.

I felt invaded at every corner by the need to take care of something, fix something, do something because otherwise it would fall apart while I observed others around me watching the situation crumble and letting it be without intervention, without offering any help.

After what I have learned throughout my journey I realize that this “karmic loop” is happening for a reason, I knew I was not a victim of any circumstance, that no one was doing any wrong to me, not people, not a place, not life nor the universe, this came to me as a call for attention, a lesson I thought I had already learned but that apparently had not been really processed yet.

And as I observed the whole situation unveil before my eyes, I felt caught, I felt trapped in a high speed train that I did not want to be in but simply could not be stopped, so I fell ill, I caused my body all sort of problems and pains from a hard neck and back that were hurting all the time to gaining a ridiculous amount of weight and as an observer, as a conscious witness of all that was happening I got quite angry that this would be happening in my life again.

I had learned how to listen to myself, I had connected with my intuition, I had connected with my true self, my real self, my self without masks, my original source, the one that did not need to please anyone or prove anything to anyone, the one that knew herself, valued her strengths, knew where her struggles and pains were and loved herself above anything without being attached to anything or anyone.

I was very displeased with my inability to stay in my power, in my balance, in my center. I decided to quit my job and leave a life behind me to travel the world because my heart urged to do so, I decided to go against all odds and expectations to be me, to be free, to follow my calling, and suddenly I couldn’t even award myself time to rest or exercise or dance or relax anyhow. I felt enslaved by “responsibility” and maybe this is what the test was all about, can I stay true to myself when the result of my effort is not manifesting?

I felt very bad about forgetting myself, shutting myself down and putting myself in the least important place, and with the physical manifestations of my inner repression I was even more sad and felt helpless so it all turned pretty bad and the hole I had dig for myself just grew deeper and darker.

Keeping myself in the same situation and doing the same things will not get me any different results so it’s clear for me that I need to start actioning in the opposite direction, I need to reach the wheel and steer it to regain course.

Life is a cycle and no matter how much anger I generate towards myself for having to start all over again that won’t help me…

I must begin a new journey in search for my inner peace.

Connecting with the mermaid within

There is something about the ocean that calls me and heals me.

For a long time I have lived  near the sea, in spite of living a work-oriented life downtown and not in front of the beach, I loved to go out at the break of dawn to take a deep breath and feel the ocean breeze filling my lungs.

Nothing was more rewarding than running along the ocean watching the sunrise and then diving into the arms of a loving sea.

After 5 months of being separated from this power source, I was blessed to begin the year 2018 near to my beloved sea on the shores of Tel Aviv. After observing the shift in my body and my energy by being near the ocean again I was able to relate how important this connection is for humanity.

Water is the source of life, this is a very powerful statement by itself.

This planet is mostly made out of water just like our bodies as part of the planet  are mostly made out of water, a mother carries a child in her womb in water, civilizations and animals live and move where they can find water. If water is inside of us and the ocean is the biggest concentration of water and life we can find, there is certainly a relationship between ourselves and the ocean.

Water is the universal vehicle and the ocean has allowed people to travel and explore the world since ancient times also acting as a vehicle.

I answered the call of the ocean after my time in Israel and came to live near the beach once again, this time instead of the Caribbean it was the Mediterranean island of Cyprus who received me.

Everyday we met and spent time together -the ocean and me- sometimes we talked and shared our feelings of joy, sadness, fear and concern. Sometimes we played and danced enjoying  a good time, sometimes we stood silent together and went into meditation.

Every time there was a different lesson to be learned and every day the energy was different, from empowering and daunting to relaxing and soothing, this time together made me aware of the mother ocean’s voice.

MERMAIDS

I believe that the way ancient tribes understood life and the universe is not wrong or crazy, to me it actually holds a lot of value and meaning, with that being said, mermaids are the symbol of the connection between humans and the ocean.

I personally like the concept of half human half animal creatures because it demonstrates a blend and a harmony, one is not complete without the other.

As for the origin of this depiction it might have come from the companionship of dolphins and manatees towards the people traveling the ocean, or maybe these creatures are there and they just show themselves from time to time. Whichever the story is behind them, mermaids are a representation of femininity, the beauty of the sea and its delicate balance.

Connecting with this energy means to become one with the ocean, to allow this fascinating piece of the Earth come to live within your heart and therefore understand that “If she heals, you heal”.

We can’t survive without the ocean. Just like our mother she is kind and loving, providing us with life, wealth, health and riches.

Let’s stop the violence towards everyone that surrounds us and take care of our own family, especially our ocean family.

• Kristina

Smiling Dogs

Going through my archives I just found this picture of Brandy!! a.k.a. Brandyna from 2012, she is the sweet companion of good friend and wedding filmmaker Oscar Nunez.

It’s wonderful and amazing how dogs and animals in general can lift your spirit.

I have always thought we would benefit a lot being more dog-like, authentic, living in the moment, loving, caring, playful, friendly, fierce, enjoying the simple things, living a simple and rewarding life, realizing all that matters is here and now and loving completely without boundaries.

Thank you animal realm for teaching us without words such valuable meanings, thank you for your existence because without you humankind would be lost.

Thank you to all the people who love dogs and animals, who take care of them and are able to understand that even if we don’t speak the same language (us and them) we are all part of the same family.

Love,

Kristina

A phrase of inspiration

The only thing preventing us from living in peace and harmony is our limited idea that we can’t do it

A Midwinter Night’s Dream

It was one night in the middle of December when he came in from the dark totally unexpectedly, he walked towards the mountain without any plan, asking for simple things and the mountain was able to answer and provide.

He seemed to be another passerby but something about him was different, he did not plan to be there in the first place and I certainly did not plan to meet him, yet we were both in the same remote mountain north of the island at the exact same time.

I had been doing pretty well staying quiet and planned to keep it that way, but funny enough, the universe had other plans.

As time passed I noticed how almost conceidedly he revealed hints of his secret mission, after his interactions with the people around, he always came back to this subtle space where his focus and vibration were deeper, in line with something certainly important.

There was a halo of mystery around him and no one really seemed to be able to read him thoroughly, he was good at passing unnoticed, even though he was not hiding his powers, a warm heart and sincere smile were his trademark and he would always have them available for everyone. Who was this unordinary man?

As much as I developed the idea to not find out who he was, there seemed to be no place I could run to, for some reason and without any intention we often found each other time and time again. At this point I understood it was time to accept whatever it was this new lesson would be about.

So I watched him standing on the top of the mountain one evening as the sun went down and the sky played a song of intense purple, blue and golden lights in tune with the cold air that caressed my skin. He was looking over the island and the valley, the sea, even the snowed giant peak were looking back at him; suddenly the image revealed before me, the intuition was right, in thruth he was more than just a passerby, he was what the world longed for…he was a superhero…and he brought with him the firm purpose to create a better world for all of us.

I felt grateful for the opportunity to see beyond the surface and discover how transformation and courage really are all around us, we just have to take a moment to learn how to see.

The thought came to me about how human beings want to be happy and avoid suffering. Everywhere people want to experience a good life and live in peace, how little do we understand about the power to create this reality for ourselves and others! But superheroes understand it and they do even more than that, they use this power to create a different reality, they are the daring.

The power of giving is inside each person, yet it is very rare to fnd the one that with full ownership of this power decides to dedicate his time and energy to the benefit of the world and all other living beings in a concrete and practical way that impacts humanity in real time.

That is why superheroes must keep the mystery and preserve their energy, they can’t give it away to just anyone because it’s precious and can’t be wasted, even if they want to shout it out, the world has proven not to always be ready to embrace this way of being.

The life of a superhero is a lonely journey, they are often misunderstood and taken for fools, humans are eager to not believe in them and enjoy scrutinizing them, they give them nicknames like romantics and idealists and they secretly fear them. But a superhero is strong, with undermined will to carry on and change the world.

The superhero lives from pure intention, through great effort and focus his power grows, he doesn’t know how to give up, he will keep going and because of this, he will succeed.

The one I met had a strong and magnetic presence, he was fearless and so was I, inevitably we were drawn to share the same time and space for a lapse of time that seemed only like a short dream, during this time I discovered that for him being a superhero came effortlessly, his nature shined through him, he couldn’t help it and he didn’t intend to, nevertheless he stayed alert and open to learn, eager to discover more and more, he experienced the world with purity and remained committed to the understanding that we are not in this wolrd to take anything, we are here  to give and to create something bigger than ourselves.

He’s got the power of great insight, of understanding meanings beyond appearance and the power to let go and flow like the river into the ocean, he practices kindness all the time and remains authentic, expressing his true feelings and recognizing what he needs when he needs it. He has got the power of vision to build upon what is not yet there and to trust when everyone else doubts.

His courage inspires me to take bigger risks and be guided not only by my heart but by my purpose.

He vibrates in a different frequency and after giving this energy to the world he is ready to continue his journey, he takes pleasure in walking along the road sliently with all this attributes and skills packed inside a bag, out of sight, he watches over the island with longing and the firm purpose to never stop moving.

He will change the world…and I will always remember that midwinter night’s dream.