If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don’t remove it

I might be writing in my dreams.

~Terri Guillemets

 

This page is meant to share my more personal work as a writer as well as what I love in the universe of literature. -K.

Secret Thoughts

I’ve been thinking about you in secret, dreaming about you and singing songs to you. I’ve been secretly remembering you and missing you.

How I wanted to tell you! but it seems like you are not interested in knowing, not interested in me, not at all… so I might as well keep it a secret.

I notice how even now, you’re still mad at me. Somehow I figured it was about time we sorted it out.

My mind is aware that it was my choice to be alone and it’s not that I feel lonely, your absence is fine.

Still I just wish we could talk and see each other in a hopeless attempt to clear things out. You were not the only one who got his heart broken.

I wish you were not mad at me nor afraid of me, I wish you weren’t so silent, I wish you could pick yourself together as I have done without you.

Can I tell you a secret? I still love you…not as I used to, for I know that the collision of our lips is a categorically proven impossibility, but I love your person, I like your laughter.

I constantly intend that you find what best suits you and that it means a lot of joy in your life. Then I let you go.

It is your turn now! Let me go!

Wether you wanted it or not, I was already flying away, my footsteps on the door. You were watching me leave and so I did, I didn’t turn back for a last glance. I simply did not.

Even now, I keep walking ahead, each step further in a different direction, away.

You seeked revenge, you took what little I had, you took my tools, you left me peniless. But I kept my eyes, I kept my back, my legs, my feet, and so I walked, through a desolated road full of dust, stepping off the highway, leaving my own trail.

I had no car, no fridge, no adress, no things, no plans, still I got all I needed and more, just the experience of being alive.

I stand here now, and I have one more secret you refuse to hear: I thank you.

You are the one that I have to thank for what I learned, thanks for showing me the view from inside the cage, now I’m out.

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